When my daughter, Anabelle, was about six years old, we decided to give her room a makeover. We put white wainscoting panels halfway up the walls, and the upper half would be a soft, creamy butter color. As I was pouring over the paint samples at Home Depot, amazed how there could be so many colors of yellow, I overheard a mother scolding her young daughter too loudly.

I looked at the little girl about my daughter’s age, and my heart broke at the dejected look on her little face framed with oversized glasses and stringy blonde hair. The mom was relentless in berating the little girl publicly, and I felt sad and embarrassed for the little one.

The mother finally walked off, leaving the little girl staring at the ground by the paint samples. Even at a young age, I know she felt the staring eyes of strangers. Of course, she was too young to realize the judgment was on her mother and not her.

She slowly looked up at the paint samples in my hands, and then our eyes met. We exchanged a half-sad, small smile. I finally spoke up, “I’m trying to pick a new paint color for my daughter’s bedroom. Do you want to help me?”

She perked up and eagerly said yes. We made small talk as we pointed at colors with comments like “that is a pretty one” or “I like this one.” Finally, she pulled a yellow paper from its holder. She pointed to the brightest yellow on the swatch.

“I like this one.” I smiled at her and accepted it from her outstretched hand. Her voice was enthusiastic, and her previously sad eyes had a happy sparkle.

“That’s a beautiful shade of yellow,” I reassured her. Her face beamed as I told her okay, I would choose that one. She watched as I walked over

to the paint clerk and asked for two gallons. I thanked her for her help and told her I couldn’t have done it without her.

Her mom walked back to our area and barked at her to go, and she said bye and skipped off. I felt really sorry for her as I watched her leave and glad I was there to chat with her. However… the paint color was way too bright.

Much – much! – brighter than the softness of creamy yellow I had envisioned. And when I got it on the walls, I was right. I hated it. It was entirely too bright. I just didn’t have the heart in the moment to not accept the precious girl’s choice after seeing her downtrodden little face.

We lived with that ridiculously bright yellow paint for five years until our house burned down. Needless to say, we went with a different wall color in the rebuild. I have not forgotten about that yellow paint buying experience, though.

Not long ago, I found myself in a similar situation at work. I had a specific vision for something we were creating for UB Women to help simplify a process. I had spent a lot of time thinking through it and was in the rough stages of the creation process. A well-intentioned person wanted to help with this task.

Usually, I love collaborating with others, and most of the time ask for feedback and others’ input. I often say I come up with good ideas and then share them with others and they tweak them and make them great. This task, however, was not that intricate.

Instead of completing the task as I had asked, the helper kept adding and changing the job until it was convoluted and lengthy with an overabundance of information added into it. The purpose of the task was to make the information more manageable and attainable for our members. Now it was complicated and would require more time for our members to get the information they needed.

The helper was eager to contribute and genuinely wanted to assist me with things that needed to be done. But after looking at the finished product handed to me, I found myself staring at the bright yellow walls again.

If I accepted and used the finished product, it would be a detriment to the people I was trying to serve. However, I hate running the risk of hurting anyone’s feelings, especially when I recognize the helper is simply anxious to contribute and take initiative.

So how do we as leaders handle situations like this? First, I should have been firmer at the beginning regarding the specifics of how I wanted the finished product to look. In my efforts to always make others feel welcome to share their ideas, I was likely too lax in explaining what I wanted and how I wanted the finished result to look.

The task should have taken about 30 minutes to complete. I am guessing the helper likely spent a solid two to three hours on it and gave me something that was not usable. Those extra hours spent on this task were a waste of time and resources, which, if happens repeatedly, can significantly hurt an organization.

Had I been kind but forthright and clear in my request, the situation could have possibly been avoided. In addition, I am not correctly training the helper in how to assist or follow directions in future projects. Not to mention, this particular project still has to be re-done, which means a longer delay in providing a resource to our clients.

The next step now is to have a crucial conversation with the helper and start by apologizing for not being more precise and upfront about the product I was expecting. I then need to explain what I was requesting more clearly and how it better serves our clients. I believe that showing appreciation for the effort that went into what they did will also go a long way in keeping the working relationship pleasant and satisfying.

Being stuck with bright yellow walls for five years didn’t really hurt anything in the big scheme of things. And a little girl left me with a smile. But accepting wrong or sub-par results to avoid hurting feelings will eventually harm an organization’s overall function and bottom line.

Both leaders and assistants need to work together efficiently and communicate effectively for the greater good of the client. No matter our role, we all need to be perpetual students. Proverbs 12:1 tells us, “To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction.”

Thank you for being a part of the UBW Community. You matter to God, and you matter to us.