The cat is out of the bag. My son is headed on another adventure across the world for eight to nine months this time.

Wait… you may not know my son or me, so it may be best to rewind and tell more of the story. Please remember, when you hear tidbits of people’s journeys, you only get a snapshot, thus missing a tremendous amount of context. However, if you read on, I think you’ll understand why I can release him to go halfway around the world for months at a time with such surrender and joy.

A few years ago, my son was living the typical life in America for teens (read between the lines, friends.) He wasn’t yet doing what he was meant to do, so he wasn’t thriving (to put it mildly), and I was in my room literally on my face in tears and prayer almost daily. No exaggeration. We were battling daily for the greatness we knew was in him and surrendering what we wanted for him. (He and I laugh about it now because he thought I was napping and being lazy. Ha!) Our relationship was not great. He was no longer acting like the amazing human I had once known. He was shut-down and angry, and we couldn’t reach him no matter how hard we tried.

I felt so disqualified as a mother. I’d mainly been a stay-at-home mom in the early years until I felt called to add running a business to my plate. Now I was running a successful business and was in leadership in my company as a coach, speaker, and trainer. But I wanted most to be successful at being Mom when it was all said and done. Juggling both can be hard, and I felt like a failure at the thing that mattered the most to me.

In a time of journaling and prayer in 2018, I heard the following whisper from God, “Do you remember saying, ‘Take my son. Whenever, wherever, however, you want him. Just take him.’?”

I journaled the response, “Of course, I said that just a couple of days ago and probably at least a hundred times.”

I thought to myself with a laugh, “Oh no. Where is this going?”

I felt that same whisper again, and I wrote it down, “I am taking you up on that. Your son is going to travel the world for me. You will not see him as much as you want, he will be gone much more than he’s home, but you will be closer to him than you ever dreamed of being.”

I wondered, “Could this be?”

Six months later and many prayers, and a story better told another time… he was on a plane to New Zealand, Vietnam, and so on.

I’ve shed a few tears of joy since then. Do I miss him? Yes. But it’s true when our children are doing what they are supposed to, we give them wings and let them go. He’s not mine to keep. There’s some power in leaning into the story of Hannah as she cried out to God for Him to give her a son. She promised that if God gave her a son, she’d dedicate him back to him. From this cry, the Old Testament prophet Samuel was born.

In my story, having my son close meant he lived a half-life, or worse. My deepest desire for a close relationship is unfolding. He spurs me on. Encourages me. Lights a fire in my heart for intimacy with God and the word. I spoke to him yesterday for over an hour and easily could have chatted longer. He’s still figuring out life like the rest of us, but his trajectory is set.

Here’s his latest news with a few words blacked out for discretion. I’m not even a little sad because he’s truly living.

 “I got accepted to the third year and will be moving to —– for 8-9 months. I leave for —– in August.

I have nothing but gratitude for these past two years. I met a lot of amazing people, learned a lot, and found out who I was. It feels like a big chapter of my life is coming to an end, and I don’t know what to expect, but I’m ready for it.”

Friends and fellow businesswomen, here is the good news: Your prayers are heard! When they feel like they fall flat, when you have no more words, shed too many tears, or none because your tear ducts have run dry, do not give up on your children that seem to be beyond your reach.

Weather the storm. Live on your knees. Take the hits and accusations. Don’t defend. Forgive. Surrender. Forgive yourself. It’s not over.

Put your hand to the thing that God has asked you to do, and the One who loves you and your children more than you can ask, think, or imagine will sustain you daily and answer your prayers. (And probably lead you to own your junk too, but that’s another blog post altogether.)

With 20+years of experience in sales, marketing, communication, and negotiations, Awen Rebecca Dunning enjoys delivering a top-notch real estate experience for clientele in both Kansas and Missouri. She and her husband, Clinton, live in the KC Metro area & have enjoyed raising their children in a city she loves. Whether assisting first time homebuyers, helping seasoned homeowners list and market their current home or serving clientele in selling or finding their luxury dream property, her dedicated team is ready to guide clients through the entire process from start to finish. Find Awen at www.awendunning.com.