When my now 22-year-old son was about 13 years old, he stopped me one night on the way out of his room after saying goodnight. “Mom?” His soft voice cracked a little in the darkness.
“Yeah, buddy?”
“What if I fail?”
“What do you mean? Eighth grade?”
“No. I mean in life. When I grow up. What if I fail?”
“Sweetie, you are going to fail a lot in life.”
He released a sad little laugh. “That doesn’t make me feel any better at all.”
I laughed with him and sat on the edge of his bed. I went on to tell him that if he does life right, he will fail a lot. I firmly believe if we are trying new things, stretching beyond what is comfortable, we will fail when we first start something new as we learn and grow into our next success.
I’m not sure if that was what I should have said or not, even though it is true. I think, at that moment, he was looking for some encouraging words – lies – such as “you’re not going to fail” and “you’ll be great at whatever you do.” I’ve always been pretty honest with my kids from an early age though, which may not have always been a good thing.
But the truth is we will not always do everything right. Especially if we are living outside our box of routine and security. It is easy to tell that to a child, encouraging them to take some calculated risks, walk a little more by faith and not sight, and pray bolder, bigger prayers.
As adults, it is easier to preach than to practice. Our failures feel more public. Greater responsibility makes us need the safety of routine and security and more cautious about even considering anything with risk attached. We look for guarantees and well-laid plans, not a path filled with blind faith.
I am so guilty of only wanting to take on the tasks at work that I feel like I can pull off in my own strength. I pray over them. I invite – sometimes beg – God to guide, direct, help me in whatever the challenge, but I keep the goals within my own capabilities just in case…
The reason is simple; if no other reason, I don’t want to fail at something. I don’t want to fail, and I surely do not want to do it publicly. However, I wonder, how will I genuinely discover what all God has put inside of me to accomplish if I don’t stretch and push the limits?
The phrase “glass ceiling” has buzzed around the corporate world for years. Both for men and women, in different situations, but more so when referring to professional women. My question is, what kind of glass ceiling do we self-impose in the name of security and pride? 
Security, because we don’t dare walk by faith and not sight as adults with responsibilities, it seems irresponsible and immature. We don’t stretch ourselves and pray bolder because we don’t deem it to be realistic or practical. We don’t dare do anything risky because while we may financially or professionally recover from a failure, would our pride recover?
Here is a query for thought? Are you doing anything currently in your life that had someone asked you 15 years ago if you could or would be doing this, you would have said, “No way am I capable of that?” If the answer is yes, then it is plausible that there is still so much more you can do that you are not yet doing. I believe we all have untapped gifts and talents God put inside us. Yes, some of us are definitely better at stretching ourselves, but I contend we are always capable of more when we rely on God’s power within us.
We all know the quotes, the bumper stickers, the cliches that ring true, but we don’t actually apply them to our daily lives. “Failure is an event, not a person.” “The only way you fail is to quit.” And of course, “success is not final, failure is not fatal,” and “failure is not the opposite of success, it is part of it.”
Each week in our staff meeting, we start by reading through our Core Values, an acronym for BE BOLD. O is for Open to God-Sized Possibilities, and the last part reads, “…relying on God to do the impossible through us.” Relying on God to do the impossible through us involves us trusting Him beyond our comfort level and the willingness to walk in an element of risk. Yes, sometimes blind faith.
What new thing can we try and risk not being able to do it well in the beginning? What can we attempt and risk it not being a success? Better yet, how can we redefine failing at something to make it mentally more acceptable so we are willing to try it? I view our willingness to answer these questions reflects the level of trust we are ready to place in God’s leading. I’m the first to raise my hand to confess I have struggled due to fear of failing.
I have always loved Proverbs 16:3, especially the New Living Translation. It says, “Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.” It feels like a little of that guarantee I long for. But I think the secret to this is realizing that what God sees as success may look different than our vision of success. Maybe we need to not only redefine failure in our minds but success as well.
What we deem as a failure may, in fact, be what God sees as plans falling into place or as a learning tool to get us closer to the purpose for which He wants to use us. Either way, we must be willing to take more risks, follow God without all the details, and stretch beyond what feels secure. The greater we let Him work through us, the more glory we bring Him.
What areas have you been playing it safe, and it is time to step out? Is it time to apply for that promotion? Time to start that business you’ve always dreamed of? Start a Bible study at work? Go back to school for that degree? Change industries after decades in another? Expand your business to serve more people?
If we only tackle what we can do in our own power, we are truly missing out. I am preaching to myself here. I don’t want to miss out on all God has planned for me, and I don’t want you to either.
Thank you for being a part of the UBN community. You matter to God, and you matter to us.
